The Dictator Inside Me

4 in the morning, my inflamed brain woke up and won't let me fall asleep. Why do I have such a strong desire for recognition of my ideas? Why is there so much unbearable belief in what I do? No, not a big one, but a small one. I see how neural connections have converged and aligned so that, to resolve a situation, I see only one solution. The one I suggest. I am ready to stubbornly stand with arguments in defense of my decision, like a tiny dictator of the lowest level.

Projecting my state onto real dictators, I might understand them better. The insatiable desire to implement their truth and vision in the entire world. The manic desire for their truth and their genius to be accepted by every person on Earth. And anyone who cannot fathom this genius becomes either an enemy or an uneducated fool. Having written this, I feel lighter. I can head out for a nighttime walk.

P.S. I decided to search for an illustration for the post and googled "Dictator" in pictures. But I found a book called "Dictator" by my very favorite Ulf Stark. Now I'll read it.

• I read it, a cool illustrated book for children. Logvinov did the translation into Belarusian. But I found it in Russian. If anyone's interested, comment or DM, and I'll send the link. Now, definitely off for a walk.