music ⁽²⁾

From time to time, I experience sunsets. You live, you live, and then suddenly, you are in darkness. Beloved freedom-loving children abruptly become disobedient enemies. The creative atmosphere at home turns into a mess. And I myself become a shattered monster.

This last part scares me the most, and the more I'm scared, the more shattered I become. My lower lip almost falls off at such moments because my teeth strongly clench it. Normally, nothing good happens at such times. But in all this turmoil, sun rays break through and scorch me (like in vampire movies). Then it hurts even more at the moment. A battle ensues.

Usually, such states last from 5 to 10 minutes, although time stands still and seems like eternity. And then the sun comes out again and warms me with its rays. Apologies begin, mutual forgiveness. It ends with love, value, and acceptance. Including myself.

And life goes on, and we know that we love each other, even though none of us is perfect.

P.S. In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. (Ephesians)

The senses intertwine with everyday life, emotions, and physical state.

Today, in the cafe, there was music that immersed you in a trance, captivation, and a certain nostalgia. Only the rain was missing. And even though the music evoked nostalgia, while sitting with Dasha and the children together, in peace, it was quite hard to detach from that nostalgia. And it never quite worked. We just sat and lingered. Thought about the fast-paced life and how year after year brings us closer to...

Closer to what does year after year bring us?