quiet ⁽³⁾

There are events after which you find yourself stagnant. It might be a rethinking or disappointment. There is no fire in the eyes, no vitality in the voice, only a wandering gaze and incomprehensible muttering. But this is also a day, and its value is no less than all other days. Our desire for resourceful states, where we can act effectively, may indicate our lack of authentic value. And value is related to effectiveness - success. Who imposed this on us? Why has it so squarely stuck and is not letting millions of people live (I am obviously inventing here, I do not have exact numbers).

So, what is the value for you in the days when you can’t (or don’t want to) do anything?

From time to time, I experience sunsets. You live, you live, and then suddenly, you are in darkness. Beloved freedom-loving children abruptly become disobedient enemies. The creative atmosphere at home turns into a mess. And I myself become a shattered monster.

This last part scares me the most, and the more I'm scared, the more shattered I become. My lower lip almost falls off at such moments because my teeth strongly clench it. Normally, nothing good happens at such times. But in all this turmoil, sun rays break through and scorch me (like in vampire movies). Then it hurts even more at the moment. A battle ensues.

Usually, such states last from 5 to 10 minutes, although time stands still and seems like eternity. And then the sun comes out again and warms me with its rays. Apologies begin, mutual forgiveness. It ends with love, value, and acceptance. Including myself.

And life goes on, and we know that we love each other, even though none of us is perfect.

P.S. In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. (Ephesians)